See You Later, Space Cowboy:

Moments in Grace is a pretty good band.

This'll be my last post for this xanga.  I hope I've entertained you for the year or so I've been writing it in.  I realize that with every new beginning, we must discard everything of our former lives and start fresh.  Thus, my friends now are my new best friends.  Everyone I forgot will stay forgotten.  My ex will no longer make me question why I was here in the first place, or what happend between July and January, because I no longer care.

There's a quote somewhere that can be summarized into the following words:  love can form between friends, but friendship can never form between lovers.  It makes sense, so much sense I went into denial because I was still holding onto some fragments of a torn relationship.  I was hoping that, because I helped her though her times, she would help me, but things have changed.  If one things hasn't changed, it's the fact that I'm overly cynical, but that makes me Christopher James Chin.  Ironically, there is a kid in Edison with the same name as me.

This is a good time to explain my family situation too.  My mom is pissed that I play guitar too loud.  My brother wants a new drumset.  And my dad foolishly tried to cheat on my mom, and was caught.  Thus, he's trying to re-establish what he never had, a relationshop with his family.  This would make a good book.  Chances are, I'll write a song about it and feel better.  Same thing with the ex, expressing your feelings, while morally wrong, is a good way to relieve stress.

It's funny, the reason I started reflecting on her was because she got a haircut.  It's crazy.  Notice how you always need some sort of change to realize certain things.  Like the 9/11 thing.  It took three planes, dead people, and the lose of a few buildings to realize we were fucked.  For the record, I always knew Bush was a moron. 

Dry was an excellent book that I spent three hours reading and then sat and thought for two hours until I went to bed at four.  It made me realize that everyone is addicted to something, and once and a while we'll have a revelation (like mine) and go to some clinic for help.  After that, we'll stay clean until the addiction resurfaces and we relapse.  It was such a good book.  Go read it.

If/when I start writing again, it'll be in my profile.  Besides, it pisses me off that I spelt gardener wrong.  God dammmit, I never could spell properly.

Later,

   Chris

Currently Reading Dry : A Memoir By Augusten Burroughs see related

You and Me, Over There...Right Now:

Dah.  This Spring Break has sucked ass.  It's fricking raining everyday.  I mean, I can understand "April showers bring May flowers" but this is just retarted.  What the hell man, what the hell.

I got a haircut today, and it sucks.  The guy took like two inches off of my head and now it looks like one of those unisex hairstyles.  God dammit.  My hair takes forever to grow too, unless it suddenly decides to grow...which would be nice.

I've come to the conclusion that most girls smell nice.  It's probably just perfume or something, but they always either smell like fruit/flowers or smoke.  Most of the ladies in the library smell like smoke or cats, which sucks cause they both smell like crap, but man, guys smell like crap.  I'm not gay or anything, but yesterday when this one guy came up to the desk and asked where the tax forms where, I almost threw up.  He smelled like he ate dog crap and washed it down with some other kind of crap and then bathed in crap.  It was so fricking nasty.  Either way, girls smell nice.  Smells are kinda funny, like..you grow to miss them.  Girls smell nice.  I would assume I also smell nice..but then I remember when Emily said that she smelled something that smelt like me in the park...which means I smell like trees and old leaves.  What?

CDs are too fricking expensive, so I've decided that for my birthday and Christmas, all I want are CDs, band merch., or cash.  If it's cash, it goes to my music crap, which always needs constant updating because it's gay.  $70 bucks for new tubes, man.  I owe my mom lke...$1600 from buying crap.  Though, it is my fault...shutup.

I started reading this book called Dry by Augusten Burroughs and it's pretty good.  I suggest you all read it.  Well, I don't suggest anything.  Shut Up.

So, what's left...

Nothing.

Chris<------

The Sacred Heart and the Lonely Scar:

Thought of a name.  It's actually one of Thrice's symbols, but eh.

Also, I've named/written lyrics for a song or two.  Now I just need to hook up the mics and I'll be set.  Sure, I haven't practiced with a bassist yet, but right now I'm loud enough to cover bot spots.  Speaking of which, My amp isn't fixed and I need to re-tube it so it'll stop going dead on me.  Pain in the ass will cost me around $70 dollars. 

Went to my aunt's house for dessert today and watched some old home videos.  When I say old...I mean like when I was three.  Pre-Alexander Chin.  It's amazing how many things have changed, but I kind of realized I have the same hair cut now as I did when I was four-ish.  Man, that's spooky.  I tried to "style" my brother's hair yesterday but it wouldn't move.  I guess he'll go for that (literal) "Just-Rolled-out-of-Bed" look.  My brother is awesome because he plays the drums for me, and he kicks ass.

Screw church tomorrow, I'm sleeping late.  I almost fail to see how rabbits and sheep fit into the whole Christ thing, but I'm not one to talk about religion.  Oh, for my birthday, there's these comic books about Buddha that run for about $25 a piece 9there's eight).  How sad am I, asking for books when I work at the fricking library.  I like books.  Smart people read books.  Dumb people read books all the time ::cough cough::

I'm addicted to rice.  It's sad that I'm so Asain.

The Heartbreaker Incident:

I need a name for my band.  If you have suggestions, just remember we rock.

Today was a sit and do nothing say.  I had to fix my amp head because the input jack was malfunctioning.  Out came the soddering gun.  It works now, which means I will be giving my local area a wake up call around 12:00 pm everyday this week.  I love loud music.

Thursday show is this monday, but I have work.  That sucks.  Plus, well...there is no plus.  I just can't go.  More good bands need to come to Jersey.  Either that or more good bands need to hope on tour and they should have on concert filled with aawesome music.

I bombed at my piano lesson today.  I was just so tired from yesterday I proceeded to hit several keys with my head, not my fingers.  I am an amusing person.

I want to make my birthday list,but it's too early.

Boy this was stupid.

chris.

Foolishly Under-Committed to Kill:

Folks, this month has been totally fucked up for me.

My family is undergoing some sick and twisted process, which means Hell has frozen over and my father is trying to...."reconnect" with his children (note: he never had a connection).  It's kind of like pluggin in an electrical plug...with no outlet.  It sucks to all hell.

Second, I apologized, but it didn't go as planned.  I don't even know why I felt guilty about it in the first place.  God only knows if she gave half a rat's ass, though..I think I'm more pissed about what was said then what wasn't.  I'm giving up on her, folks.  Fuck it all, if she wants to be...friends...she can make the first move.  I'm just tired of being the first to do everything.  Fricking male stereotype.  I guess some people don't understand the process of breaking one's pride and admitting you were wrong.  Remember the electrical cord with no socket?  Well this was like that.  I tried to plug in, found out my plug didnt fit into the socket and there's nothing i can do about it.  Or, when I got the plug in, there was no electricity.  each works the same way, but I'm giving up.  Fuck it all, lost cause.

For two nights in a row I had a weird dream.  In the first, I was bbqing steak.  In the second, I was washing dishes.  I guess thism eans I'll be fired from the library and be forced to cook somewhere.  At least that somewhere has steak.

Easter egg hunt was long and hillarious after everyone left.  A certain five people owe me five dollars for pulling them around on the wagon.  I think Florida will be a kick-ass time.

I just realized that maybe I'm not so pissed as I thought I was...I'm a bit more pissed now (just adding fuel to the fire).  I was there when I was needed, and no one's there to return the favor.  And I think you're only lying to yourself.

God dammit, I need a girlfriend or something.

Folks.

Chris

(just a reminder for myself)

Dear Chris,

            Just remember, she doesn't care.

                 Your lovely Xanga.